Tomato

zabchan

(inspired by the role swap au, with human! xibalba and la muerte)

"Hold still Xibalba!" Catrina scolded, straightening the collar of his jacket. she clicked her tongue at him in disapproval. "Ay, ay, ay! I wish you had bothered to polish your armor, what a disgrace to your men!" she leaned forward on the mounting block as captain Xibalba’s horse Malvolo shifted anxiously in front of her, catching some of his master’s mood.

"More of a disgrace to be late because of such a henpecking, meddlesome woman! Muertita, please.”

Reluctantly, Catrina pulled back, surveying her charge up and down one final time, hands on her voluptuous hips. Xibalba couldn’t help but notice she was wearing the choker he’d given her the first time they’d met. It flashed at him in the hot san angel sun like a good omen. Although what could be possibly be a good omen about leaving his beloved La Muerte (the town nickname for the femme fatale), he couldn’t fathom. Especially not when his proposal had gone so long unanswered. Now, his regiment was scheduled to head out and be gone for three years or more, clearing the countryside of banditos and cartels. He supposed he should be grateful she was holding him up, it would be the last time he saw her for a long time. Possibly the last time, he darkly suspected, he saw her as a single woman, if Chandler had anything to say about it.

He shifted uncomfortably in his saddle as she continued to stare at him. He felt pinned by the flashing gold of her eyes, by the confrontational set of her hips, by the seductive pout of her plump, kissable lips. Ye gods, he loved this woman. She infuriated him, drove him crazy with her scolding and her nagging, but he was infatuated.

After an age, Catrina ended her scrutiny of him, sighing. her expression softened, and his heart melted.

"Muertita…" he started, but she cut Xibalba off with a delicate hand wrapping around his beard. She drew him to her, and he mindlessly obeyed, nudging Malvolo to sidestep a pace closer. Malvolo snorted.

La muerte hopped up on her tiptoes to plant a hot, moist kiss on the side of his mouth, just under his moustache. he gaped at her.

"If you promise me not to get your dress uniform all banged up or full of bulletholes and stab wounds, Balbi," she blushed at using the affectionate diminutive, "Then I promise I’ll help you polish your armor when you get back." She gave his curly moustache a final stroke before settling back on her heels. Then she smiled.

"After all, you’ll need to look your best at our wedding."

The stunned expression on Captian Xibalba’s face had not left it when Malvolo suddenly decided he was tired of all this mushy stuff and started to wander towards the rest of the waiting regiment to socialise with the other cavalry horses. He got a good twenty paces before his master wheeled him around suddenly, causing him to rear and whinny in protest. Xibalba urged him forward nonetheless, back the way they’d come.

Xibalba cantered past La muerte, who had begun laughing, and turned for a second pass, this time catching her by the waist and lifting her bodily into the saddle with him. She clung to his chest as they galloped around the town square, Xibalba trumpeting his victory in his rich baritone voice. “OUR wedding, She says! Our WEDDING!”

After a few wild, joyful laps around the fountain, Xibalba slowed, dropping the reins to hold her tight.

"Mi amor," he murmured into her hair, "can it be real? Will you really agree to be my wife?"

She gave him a sweet grin, wrinkling her tiny, adorable nose at him. “I agree that you may be my husband.” She kissed him, again on his cheek but this time on the other side, giving him matching magenta lip-prints on each cheek.

"and you will wait for me?" he prompted.

"with all my heart." she soothed, kissing his lips softly.

Xibalba took her kiss and ran with it, knocking her hat off in his ardor. he crushed her to his chest and fairly ravaged her mouth. She felt lightheaded at his passion, and if he had not been gripping her hips so tightly she was sure she would have fallen off Malvolo. Catrina felt her breasts press into his hard chest and moaned, letting Xibalba slip a wide flat tongue between her lips. Despite his mouth being so much bigger than hers, he was actually very tight and controlled with his kisses, but forceful, passionate all the same. She gripped the short salt and pepper hair at the back of his neck to steady herself.

they broke apart panting.

"Muertita." he sighed contentedly. "oh Muertita, mi amor, mi corazon, mi vida…"

"Weren’t you complaining about being late, señor captain?” she teased, twirling his beard around her finger.

"Ahhh but now I have no reason to go!" He grinned. "and every reason to stay…" He kissed her again, just as fervently, although perhaps not for quite as long.

"Oh Balbi~" she rested her forehead against his, just content to stay there and feel his heart beat under her fingertips on his neck. But she had her own sense of duty as much as he had his.

"No Balbi, you must go and make the town safe from banditios. Go make it safe for all the abuelos y abuelas y papis y mamas and the little children who adore you so, my knight on a shining black stallion." She gave him a sly look. "and maybe when you get back, we shall make some little children of our own for you to protect."

He was grinning the entire way back from dropping her off at home, all the way out to the garrison where his regiment waited, and even all throughout the dressing down he received from his commanding officer for being late with unpolished armor.

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Reblog if you’ve found friendship because of your fandoms.