Okay but can we talk about this in context of his reactions to Lavellan?About what this says about his thinking? About how he was so close to telling her the truth, according to Weekes, but bailed?

He was scared, he was terrified of her reaction, and I think he was scared of something else too: what if she agreed to follow him? “It’s not abuse if I ask,” but that’s not always true. He thinks it would be cruel, it would be abuse. He has a responsibility to his mission—whatever that is and wherever it leads him. This mission will take him places he wouldn’t wish an enemy. She deserves freedom.

But his love for her is selfish and so terribly bright and intense. He loves her so much and never expected it, never expected anyone to draw his attention with their intelligence and thoughtfulness. He wouldn’t be able to deny her, which is why he backs away in that last scene. He is so close to telling her.

But there’s more to it too. He is prideful and his mission is so much of who he is. He was a god of rebellion, which implies unyielding change. Unyielding, demanding all your focus and resolve. He can’t be that and be with her too. Harden your heart to a cutting edge, move on even if it breaks you. Stand tall.

This goes along the lines of my idea for his reactions and ultimate backing out in Crest Wood. 

He is not afraid of her rejection. He is afraid of her acceptance.

(I don’t think it is only about her following him, also about her chances of changing his plans. I think this is also touched upon above, him not being able to deny her)

I need more of this, please.

No…like, desperately.