eurovision alignments

Lawful ballad Typically kind of boring, but qualifies because you can't NOT vote for it or else you'll look like a jerk. Probably about love. Or peace.

Neutral ballad Trying to be a power ballad but the singer just isn't that good. Maybe about love, but not in a guilt-trippy kind of way. Sounds better in studio.

Chaotic ballad Strong, overly dramatic power ballad. Either the best thing you've ever heard or just way too extra. There is no in between.

Lawful schlager Upbeat and really generic, like it's trying to make sure it qualifies. Probably written by someone from Sweden.

Neutral schlager Passes for a normal pop song, at least mostly. Incredibly radio-friendly. Gets a lot of jury votes.

Chaotic schlager Not quite a joke entry, but could be mistaken for one if you squint. Lots of glitter and exposed skin. Why people think Eurovision is gay.

Lawful crazy The staging and outfits and pretty much everything looks like a fever dream, but the entry still resembles a song. 10/10 would dance to while drunk.

Neutral crazy Any entry that just screams, "hey, we REALLY don't feel like hosting next year." Almost never qualifies. Just as planned.

Chaotic crazy Looks and sounds like a shitpost, because they put serious effort into making sure it looks and sounds like a shitpost. Gets a fuckton of televotes.