Is there any way you can summarize comic fans because I want to try and explain the whole thing to a friend who isn't part of all this but I'm afraid I won't get a comic fan's world across??????

• half of us have learned not to care about fighting with other fans, the other half keeps picking up fights but only ironically. the collective has stopped caring
• the youtube comment section is excepted because, as everyone knows, youtube’s part of a wormhole where time has either stood still in 2009 or occassionally goes back to the 50s. god bless their sexist, walnut-sized-brain souls
• the reason none of us seem to be chill on a molecular level is because we all inevitably get attached to characters we barely knew and didn’t set out to care about at all. the problem occurs this often because our favorite’s comic titles crossover with a million and one other characters’ titles and that immediately guarantees your caring about at least half the comic universe’s characters at the end of the day. involuntarily
• yeah you thought you wanted to spend only $2.99 a month for a single comic but then you realized you’re interested in person A and maybe person B seems to have potentional and we’re all the way down to Z and you haven’t eaten this week because there are five different crossovers coming out this wednesday. good job, bob
• when it’s summer and the sun is high in the sky and the birds are doing their thing and you hear a distant noise in the horizon that resembles a sheep mating with a gazelle, that’s probably a comic fan audibly cringing about an issue’s artwork
• “i think it’s funny how” no it’s not. it’s not funny. you’re about to listen to a jaded fan throw shade at the comic company of their choice and their poor, poor decisions. i’m sorry
  
• “why do you not follow the writers’ writing instead of bitching all the time? they’re professionals, they know what they’re doing”
• yeah they’re professionals. they’re also fans. fans that sometimes don’t bother to open a single wiki page to check their facts. the rule with comics is that that only true consistency is inside a writer’s run. there’s a 85% chance things, tone, mood, mere character and plot facts won’t match when the next writer takes over
• honestly, trust me when i say retaining strictly canon information ends up being more confusing than having your own patchwork-blanket canon in your head
  
• “i love character X” doesn’t mean “i appreciate the way they’re written :)” or “i can’t wait to see more stuff with them!!”. it means “i love character X” and it’s time i introduced you to the phenomenon of caring on a deep, spiritual level about fictional characters
• facebook comments will repeat how batman uses kryptonite to beat superman more times than batman has ever actually come in contact with kryptonite
• we’re in hell, my boy