who the signs are going to fight
- aries: you
- taurus: their alarm clock
- gemini: the entire human population
- cancer: anyone who makes them cry
- leo: condoms
- virgo: the patriarchy
- libra: everyone but only using their lips
- scorpio: god
- sagittarius: iggy azalea
- capricorn: their parents
- aquarius: bras
- pisces: themselves