eurovision alignments
- Lawful ballad: Typically kind of boring, but qualifies because you can't NOT vote for it or else you'll look like a jerk. Probably about love. Or peace.
- Neutral ballad: Trying to be a power ballad but the singer just isn't that good. Maybe about love, but not in a guilt-trippy kind of way. Sounds better in studio.
- Chaotic ballad: Strong, overly dramatic power ballad. Either the best thing you've ever heard or just way too extra. There is no in between.
- Lawful schlager: Upbeat and really generic, like it's trying to make sure it qualifies. Probably written by someone from Sweden.
- Neutral schlager: Passes for a normal pop song, at least mostly. Incredibly radio-friendly. Gets a lot of jury votes.
- Chaotic schlager: Not quite a joke entry, but could be mistaken for one if you squint. Lots of glitter and exposed skin. Why people think Eurovision is gay.
- Lawful crazy: The staging and outfits and pretty much everything looks like a fever dream, but the entry still resembles a song. 10/10 would dance to while drunk.
- Neutral crazy: Any entry that just screams, "hey, we REALLY don't feel like hosting next year." Almost never qualifies. Just as planned.
- Chaotic crazy: Looks and sounds like a shitpost, because they put serious effort into making sure it looks and sounds like a shitpost. Gets a fuckton of televotes.
