So you’re the Batman?
cute characters
cute characters that turn into grotesque monsters
sweaty no I want to see gross ass monsters
finally someone gets it
y'all I can guarantee you 9/10 times cashiers do not give a flyin’ flip what you buy listen I have seen people buy laxatives and adult diapers you think I’m gonna give a damn if you’re buying tampons for your wife like bitch I probably didn’t even look at the package I’m just concerned with getting it scanned beep beep motherfucker and we’re done
Things my brother has said to me since I’ve come out
Bro: You can’t say you’re pan if you’ve only dated cis-boys Jess..
Me: Then you can’t say you’re straight since you’ve never had a girlfriend
Bro: touche…
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Bro: so you like girls?
Me: yep
Bro: so youre gonna get a girlfriend?
Me: maybe
Bro: NOW I GOTTA COMPETE AGAINST YOU TOO??
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Bro: wanna bet on who kisses a girl first?
Me: sure… $10?
Bro: okay
Me: sweet…cough up the money because i already kissed three
Bro: WHAT?? WHO?? you whore…No but seriously who because we only have like 2 lesbians in our school….
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Bro: I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HEAR ONE MORE PUN ABOUT YOU AND KITCHENWEAR IM KILLING YOU
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Brothers friend: so your sister is pan?
Bro: yeah?
Friend: what’s that?
Bro: basically she’ll date anyone
Friend: think she’ll date me?
Bro: ew no, dude she has standered still..
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Bro: so…how was narnia?
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Mother: i dont want you going to (insert friend)’s house because you’re pan and they are too
Bro: shes 18 mom AND you had no problem with it before jess was out
Mother: yeah but-
Bro: and they’re both girls so its not like even if something DID happen she wouldn’t get pregnant or anything
Mother: yeah but-
Bro: just let her hang out with the one friend she still has
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Bro: *is complaning about something* Thats so ga- OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY IT SLIPPED
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Bro: *shows me a picture of a girl* do you think shes hot?
Me: ew no
Bro: I AM TRYING TO GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND STOP BEING PICKY WOMAN WE LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE THERE ARENT THAT MANY OPTIONS
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Me: *is complaining to my brother about this dude on campus* -anyways hes so not my type
Mother: but youre pan and ‘youre attracted to everyone regardless of gender’ so you dont have a type
Bro: thats like saying because i’m straight i like every girl mom…she can be pan and have types you limp lettuce
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Bro: do you think grandma will freak out when she finds out you’re queer?
Me: hopefully
Bro: sweet…..can i tell her??
Me: no?
Bro: dammit…
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Bro: *is playing COD online in his room* Guys seriously stop saying the F slur
Bro: Seriously i dont care about your kill streak, i will shoot you
Bro: NO SCOPE! I warned you!
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Bro: you know what my favorite part of you being pan is?
Me: what?
Bro: you’re no longer grandmas favorite…now i get all the money/food
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Bro: aw fuck
Me: what?
Bro: what if you get a girlfriend one day and she breaks your heart? i can’t punch a girl!
Me: no thats okay-
Bro: HOW WILL I DEFEND YOUR HONOR???
Longest words
These are some of the supposed longest words in different European languages:
Irish - “rianghrafadóireachta” - photography
French - “anticonstitutionnellement” - unconstitutionally
Croatian - “Prijestolonasljednikovica” - wife of an heir to the throne
Greek - “ηλεκτροεγκεφαλογραφήματος” - of an electroencephalogram
Latvian - “Pretpulksteņrādītājvirziens” - counter-clockwise
English - “Antidisestablishmentarianism” - against the disestablishment of the Church of England
Swedish - “Realisationsvinstbeskattning” - capital gains tax
Czech - “Nejneobhospodařovávatelnějšímu” - to the least cultivable ones
Polish - “Konstantynopolitańczykowianeczka” the daughter of a man from Constantinople
Norwegian - “Menneskerettighetsorganisasjonene” - the human rights organisations
Ukranian - “Нікотинамідаденіндинуклеотидфосфат” - nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide phosphate
Serbian - “Семпаравиливичинаверсаламилитипиковски” - (this is actually the last name of a family from Yugoslavia)
Agglutinative languages. Things get even weirder here:
Estonian - “Sünnipäevanädalalõpupeopärastlõunaväsimus” - the tiredness one feels on the afternoon of the weekend birthday party
Dutch - “Hottentottententententoonstellingsterrein” - exhibition ground for Hottentot huts
Hungarian - “Megszentségteleníthetetlenségeskedéseitekért” - for your continued behaviour pretending to be indesecratable
Finnish - “Lentokonesuihkuturbiinimoottoriapumekaanikkoaliupseerioppilas” - (something to do with the Finnish Air Force. Hard to translate but impressively long)
Icelandic - “Vaðlaheiðarvegavinnuverkfærageymsluskúraútidyralyklakippuhringur” - key ring of the key chain of the outer door to the storage tool shed of the road workers on the Vaðlaheiði plateau (Icelandic isn’t even really an agglutinative language which makes this even more impressive)
Turkish - “Muvaffakiyetsizleştiricileştiriveremeyebileceklerimizdenmişsinizcesine” - as though you are from those we may not be able to easily make a number of unsuccessful ones
And then the longest word is, of course, German. It’s 79 letters long and almost impossible to use in context:
German - “Donaudampfschiffahrtselektrizitätenhauptbetriebswerk-bauunterbeamtengesellschaft” - Association for subordinate officials of the head office management of the Danube steamboat electrical services.
If you know any more impressively long words that I missed, please let me know so I can add them!
Mother’s Day.
We see you.
- Children who’ve lost their mothers
- Children whose relationships with their mothers are broken
- Women who long for children for whom it hasn’t happened or can’t happen
- Mothers who’ve lost their children
- Mothers whose relationships with their children are broken
- Single fathers pulling double duty
- …and countless others for whom this is a difficult day
We see you. You are not invisible. Take care of yourselves.
Honestly this place might be a hellsite sometimes and maybe this coping mechanism is unhealthy but when I wake up in the morning, poorly rested and feeling anxious about my work day (cause I hate working where I do lol) I find IMMENSE comfort in the funny or interesting shit I see on here and in my friends that I can easily talk to, in the content they produce.
